HOW TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST

One question I often ask myself after a long day of taking care of everything and everyone is ‘what about me?’, ‘don’t I matter also?’.

It took me getting to a point of breaking down for me to realize that I had to prioritize myself before any other person.

 

This isn’t selfishness, in fact, it is the most logical and reasonable thing to do because you cannot pour from an empty cup.

 

As cliché as this may sound, this statement is particularly true.

Think about it! Not taking care of yourself means that tomorrow you may stop functioning, and guess what, the world will go on, people will move on, and in days, weeks and even years to come, everything will go back to how it used to be.

 

Whether you like it or not, the harsh truth is that we will be forgotten just like we have forgotten those that have gone on ahead of us.

 

This is life, and for this reason alone, this conversation is very important and it is worth having.

 

This might sound extreme, but this has happened to a lot of people.

 

We cannot change the fact that we all will one day live and die, but what we can work on is what we can control, and that is how we choose to live.

 

How can you give your loved ones the best when you are not at your best?

 

They’re probably seeing you grumpy and tired all day, and it will do something to their spirits.

It’s like a viscous circle.

Life doesn’t have to be this complicated. When you are your best self, you are in a better position to give the best to people around you.

Here are easy things to do to help make yourself a priority

 

1. DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE

No! Not the kind of decluttering you are thinking about. I mean, declutter the activities of your life!

 

I remembered when I was in the university, I always had one thing or the other going on. From one buzz to the other and taking care of myself always took the back burner.

 

 

As a health science student, we usually shuttled between hospital postings and school activities. In between, I had to work to support myself through school. The free times I had; I will always go from one church activity to the other. I was the assistant class rep, I was the choir director in the campus fellowship, I was in the church choir (which I shouldn’t have joined), I was Sewing to support myself, and as you can already guess, my academics suffered a great deal. I was already in my 4th year when I started playing catch up to improve my grade point so I could graduate with a good result.

 

I was just everywhere for everyone and every activity, saying Yes to things I should have said No to. The important things I should have paid attention to became less important.

 

 

 

Looking back now, I can’t even give a single reason why I was cramping my life with too much activities. It felt like spending time without actually doing anything was a taboo.

 

It took a toll on my health and my academics, and that is a position I never wish to be again.

 

I am sharing this story just to let you know that you don’t have to fill up your life with activities that will weigh you down.

 

Decide on what’s priority and be flexible with other activities.

Look at what is most important and sieve out the rest.

 

When you are at it, making yourself a priority should be at the top of that list.

 

2. SCHEDULE SELF CARE INTO YOUR ROUTINE

Really! What is this Self-care people keep talking about? And why is it so important?

 

I’ll tell you. Imagine using your car for months on without servicing it! Imagine not oiling the parts of an engine that works to bring in money every day.

 

One day, this car or engine will break down and will not be able to serve you like it should.

 

Self-care is the servicing we give to our spirits, soul and body that keeps us running, functioning and productive throughout our lives.

 

This is how I actually see it!

 

There are a zillion ways to practice self-care, and I’ve outlined just a few here. Take time to check it out!

 

Sleep is one common and often overlooked form of self-care. It is so important for your health and wellbeing. For a start, you can start taking your sleeping hours seriously.

If you don’t slow down to take care of yourself, your body will force you to do so.

 

When you are at your best, you will be more productive, efficient and highly effective.

 

Say No to things that make you feel unnecessarily stressed.

 

3. STOP PEOPLE PLEASING

I am tempted to ask you why you are still displeasing yourself to be in someone’s else good book, but when I remember I was once like this, I hide my head in a bit of shame.

 

Often time, we are lost wondering what people will think of us when in fact, 99.9 percent of the time, they are troubled with their own worries and life’s issues.

 

We often give people too much credit to our life than they deserve, and the moment we realize that every one is paddling their own canoe, that’s the moment our true freedom comes.

 

People pleasers want to be liked by every one else when what we should be aiming for is respect and not likes.

 

As painful as it may sound, whether we try as much as we can to please everyone in the block, there are people who will not like us and will even be turned off by our over niceness.

 

When you put other people’s emotions above your own, you are placing them as priority. This is not good, and you should stop.

4. ASK FOR OR ACCEPT HELP WHENEVER OFFERED

Most of us including me are filled with what I’d term ‘modest pride’ when around people. Someone sees that you are overworking and then tries to help you and you say NO! Sis, why?

 

We need help and will always need help at one point in our lives.

 

One of the reasons why we can’t find time alone to breathe or catch our breath is because we either can’t ask for help or we always turn down help when offered.

 

People who put themselves as priority will always ask for help when in need of it and gladly accept it when it is offered. There is no award for ‘superwoman’, so don’t try to be everything for everyone when you can be the best for yourself.

 

 

 

5. DOWNPLAY YOUR WEAKNESSES AND MAXIMIZE YOUR STRENGTHS

One of the things that makes us special and unique is that we all have our quirks. Each and every one of us has that special thing that makes us stand out from the rest. If you feel you don’t have any, then maybe you just haven’t discovered and honed yours yet.

 

 

 

Just as we have our strengths, so do we have our weaknesses. What comes as natural to one may come as a daunting task for another. When you discover what makes you stand out and your not so good aspect, and accept yourself the way you are, then you are well on your way to setting your priorities straight.

 

There are just little we can control, choose your battles wisely and enjoy your life for what it was meant to be…to live purposefully!

6. INVEST IN YOURSELF

Investing in your growth and personal development is one way to show that you prioritize your wellbeing and functionalities.

It is pertinent to always upgrade on what you already are and strive for a better version of yourself.

Asides showing that you prioritize yourself through this way, your confidence soars and your self respect increases.

Ways that you can invest in yourself can be tangible or non tangible things.

Asides taking courses, reading book and growing your skill sets, you can invest in yourself through experiences and activities.

Here I did an extensive post on how to live a rich and exciting life. Go check that out and tell me what your thoughts are.

7. TREAT YOURSELF TO THINGS YOU LOVE

Before I started my personal development journey, before I started prioritizing myself, I always went with whatever option every other person in the room went with. I had my likes and dislikes, but for some (I don’t know) reasons, I will find myself pushing my own choices to the back of the list, and just went with other’s choice.

 

As you can already tell, this made me unhappy, and I must say that it is very liberating putting your own wants and needs as priority.

 

One friend of mine will say in a very childlike and funny way, ‘I am someone’s baby too’, and guess what… she is right!

 

You are indeed someone’s baby too. If no one will claim you to pamper you, you should pamper yourself. (saying it the Nigerian way is indeed funny, and I’m laughing seriously while typing this).

 

But jokes apart though, you deserve all the love, pampering and care there is because guess what… you are someone’s baby!

 

I feel like I need to stop here and let you ponder over what you’ve just read. I myself need to do some pondering too and just let all that I’ve written soak in and re-ignite the love I have for myself.

 

 

 

Until my next blog post Lovelies. Stay blessed!

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