THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GROW
Just as every gadget and technology always have an upgrade, so is it necessary for us humans to upgrade our lives.
Whatever worked in the 19th century is obviously outdated in the 21st century.
As a human being, you should, and in fact always be working towards being a better version of yourself.
Who you were 10 years ago should not be who you will be 10 years later. I am not saying you have to change your authentic self and become someone else No! I’m saying you should become a better and more refined version of yourself.
When you are on this journey of self-discovery and self-development, a whole lot of good and beneficial things tend to happen and also a whole lot of hard and equally beneficial things will happen as well.
In this article, I will be pointing these ‘hard but beneficial’ things and telling you how you can maneuver because come to think of it, giving up is never an option. So, let’s dive right in.
THINGS TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE ON YOUR SELF IMPROVEMENT JOURNEY
1. PEOPLE WILL LEAVE YOU
As harsh as this may sound, this has always been a constant event with people who strive for personal growth and development.
When you start your personal growth journey, one of the most important things to do is to set boundaries. When you start setting boundaries into your life, 80-90 percent of people will not like it and guess what… they will leave!
This can be a very difficult realization to take in. For any new thing to come into our lives, we must be willing to let go of the old.
When you love yourself enough to not want toxic energy around you, people tend to feel you are doing too much or going overboard. Pay them no mind. Understand at this point that you might loose friendships that mattered.
This can be very hurtful and painful, but there is no growth without pain.
Most people will not be able to handle the fact that you respect yourself enough to set boundaries that might hurt their feelings.
People leaving your life might happen in two ways. Either from you cutting them off or them taking a walk by themselves.
I should warn you that these people are people that are very dear to you, and this is what makes this experience very painful.
At this point, you become everything to yourself. You become your motivation, your own shoulder to lean on.
This is infact the time when you will need God the most because He will become your strength to forge on.
You will at this phase understand that you don’t need to lean on to anyone for your source of happiness, sense of peace or wholeness.
You become independent in a good way. Your confidence soars.
This mindset of independence can be frightening because it is a strange place to be. Its frightening to stand alone, do things alone, or go out alone, travel alone.
This is where practice comes in because with repetition, you will begin to enjoy your peace.
I should warn you though, this can become addictive. But never mind, it is indeed a good addiction.
Let’s now look at the good side of things
When you cut out a lot of people from your life, you end up with a hand full of people that you can genuinely trust and be at peace with.
In the journey of self-development as regards friendship and association, it is QUALITY over QUANTITY!
If you end up with no one because of the poor quality of friends or people you had around you, then take solace in the fact that your new upgraded self will sometime in the near future attract people that are up to par with your standards, values and belief system.
Having this in mind, it is therefore OK to feel lonely, frightened or sad. You can work around this sadness by filling up your time with activities and memories that will propel you even further to your goals.
Here is a list post on self care ideas and personal development goals to fill your time with.
As social animals, we will definitely need people in our lives, but what we sincerely need are the right kinds of people who aligns with what we belief in.
The painful part of this phase is that it is usually people in your life who are hardest to loose that you will eventually loose, and that is what makes it especially hurtful.
It is really a lot to go through. It is like mourning a person that is alive but then not just in your life.
Nothing I can say here will prepare you for this pain because it can cut deep.
The best way to maneuver is to look at the bigger picture and always remind yourself of what you are trying to achieve.
To wrap this point, know that your favourite people might not always be the best people for you. Getting rid of those people will open way for genuine people to come into your life.
I did an extensive post on how to enjoy your own company. Do well to check it out!
2. YOU WILL BECOME LONELY AND SAD
I kind of touched a bit on this in the first point. ‘Sad’ because you are now in a place of unfamiliarity. Because you are on your personal growth journey, you tend to be by yourself a lot, and this can often lead to loneliness and sadness.
Except you are a natural born introvert who loves being on their own, this will always be the case for you.
You kind of feel like the world has left you behind. In the journey of self discovery, knowing your self worth and loving yourself, you spend a lot of time by yourself because you dropped a lot of people and friendship along the way.
Some people feel like it is abnormal when they are going through these things. There is usually a wave of emotions that hits you. Emotions like sadness, happiness, depression, anxiety, a lot of these happens because you are stepping into your new era and a new self.
Understand that to metamorphosize into your desired self, you will go through these thing.
I’m here to tell you that it is absolutely Ok to feel those emotions.
The aim of this article is to prepare you emotionally for the intricacies.
It is in fact a phase that will come and go and eventually you’ll be fine and glad you took that bold step to improve and upgrade your life.
Just remember that one thing you should never do when you are lonely is fill up your time and space with unnecessary things, habits or unnecessary people.
Just as you should not drink poison because you are thirsty, don’t let loneliness make you reconnect with toxic people!
This is why as a person, you need to learn and understand yourself so that you can fill your time with activities you love!
Personally, when I started my own personal growth journey, I started journaling a whole lot. I would be so lost in my thought and emotions that journaling was a safe outlet for me to exhale.
It has been in fact my love for journaling that has propelled me to start this blog and share with you my (own personal journey)*. This blog has been one of my most recent blessings.
So, my dear friend, a whole lot of gold and good can come from solitude. Do not loathe the experience, rather seek a way to navigate and learn the lessons that comes with it.
3. YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF SELF DOUBT
One of the realities and harsh truth of personal development is that there will be lots of ‘what ifs’ on your journey to self-improvement. You will always find yourself asking questions like…
‘what if I do all of these and I’m mistaken?’,
‘what if I’m wrong?’,
‘what if I fail?’,
‘what if I’m doing something wrong and just loosing people for no reason?’,
‘what if I don’t achieve what I set out to achieve?’
What if, what if, what ifsssssssss. But what if I tell you, ‘what if not?’
‘what if these are all you have to go through to break that jinx of stagnation?’,
‘what if this is the major shell you have to shed to give birth to your new self?’
‘what if on the other side of fear lies a whole new opportunity for your dream life?’
There is so much self doubt can cause and it’s pertinent we see it on time and rise above it.
One of the major effects of self-doubt is Imposter Syndrome.
At this phase, you will feel and think that you are not worthy of improvement, or you are not suitable to have the life that you dream of. This is the voice of self-doubt. Every successful person you see and admire today has been through this phase. Understand that it will pass, and it will all soon be a thing of the past if you rise above it.
4. YOUR EMOTIONS WILL BE TAMED
One of the realities of self-improvement is that you will become more logical than emotional. Emotions are one of the factors that limits our self-growth.
When you tend to act out of feelings, you often make careless and hasty decisions that might not be in your best interest.
Emotions are one of the reasons why you might end up in a relationship that is bad for your growth. When you are in your feelings and acting based on what you feel, you end up in regrettable situations.
Your ability to think critically and logically is the effects of self-improvement. Critical thinking is one of the muscles you should train in your journey to self-improvement. When people know that you will always judge a situation objectively and without bias of emotions, you will be exposed to opportunities.
This can be a bad thing for some people especially people who took advantage of your emotions.
Emotional intelligence is one of the perks that comes with personal growth. Taming your emotions will not be an easy process.
One way I keep myself in check is to create an imaginary alter ego of how I want to act emotionally. One thing I love about this phase is the unpredictability.
In situations when you should have acted out of emotions, and instead you act with a clear head and precise move, this is the joys of growth.
There you have it friends! Four crucial things you should look out for on your journey to self discovery.
If there is anything you think I should have added to this list, please comment down below and share your views.
Until next time, I remain your self growth buddy.
Joy
You may also like:
• How to create an effective morning routine
Leave a Reply