How to survive the first 3 months with a baby without feeling overwhelmed

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Feeling Overwhelmed with your newborn already? Here is how to survive the first 3 months with a baby without feeling overwhelmed.

If you are a new parent reading this blog, full of exhaustion, sleepy eyes and you can still hear the echoes of your newborn cries in the background, yearning for your attention and care, Take a deep breathe, be calm.

I want to first let you know that this feeling is completely normal and you are not alone. In fact, every new mom has experienced it in the first three months after welcoming their baby.

You have a baby! YEEEEE!!! and having a newborn is a thing of joy, an amazing experience, one so beautiful and incredible. That moment of pure joy, when your baby’s eyes lock onto yours, and their tiny fingers curl around yours. Isn’t it just the cutest!!!

I remember when I gave birth to my baby, Nora, I carried her continuously and refused to let go. I wanted every moment of their life to be with me by their side. The love I had for this little one was huge, and I’ve never felt like it before.

There was an intense flow of emotions unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I remember my mum telling me to take it slowly or I would burn myself out. And guess what! It happened.

Those early days, eh? It was swarmed with so many things to do, i had to feed my baby constantly and change diapers every minute. It felt like I was working 24/7 and i was extremely tired, and exhausted. Completely drained and always on edge.

One night she had colic and was crying non stop and i did everything to calm her down but to no avail, she cried and cried. I began to question myself if I was doing it right. I never imagined that the responsibility that came with having a newborn was so big that it could overwhelm me. I was not prepared for the exhaustion and adjustment that came with it.

Every time she cried, it seemed like a mystery I would do anything to solve. I wanted to be an ideal mother to my baby and a perfect mother to the world.

If this sounds like what you’re passing through, I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, you’re not the only one. These feelings and the things you’re dealing with are a normal part of being a new parent.

Don’t ever think you’re not doing a good job, because so many of us have been there. Being a parent isn’t something you’re just naturally good at. It’s a skill you develop by taking care of your newborn day after day.

As your baby gets older, things will change and become different. It might feel like it’s going on forever, but believe me, you will come out stronger on the other side.

This blog will try to provide simple and realistic advice that actually works, to new parents to help you get through these first few tough months with your baby with less stress and more confidence.

The Reality of Being Sleep Deprived

Let’s talk about one of the biggest problems we face as new moms; not having enough sleep or not sleeping at all.

Forget about sleeping through the night, that won’t happen. From the feeding routine, diaper change and being constantly alert, you will always be on the edge.

It will affect everything, including your sleep and you may feel foggy and irritated, that’s because your body is trying to work with almost no rest.

The Constant demand of a newborn

Your newborn requires your constant attention. From the moment they wake up, you feed them, bathe them, change their nappies, soothe them when they are uncomfortable. The cycle never ends and you can’t even get a minute to yourself.

Even though you love your baby more than anything, having to be there for them all the time can make you completely worn out, especially if there’s no one to assist you.

Hormonal Shifts (Especially for the Birthing Parent)

Before birth, your body went through a lot of intense hormonal activity and after birth; those hormones are still trying to adapt and re-adjust to the process.

This may have a massive impact on your mood, sometimes you may feel sad, other times, you might be irritable and, if not properly managed, might lead to depression.

Basically, you’re a new mom, sleep deprived, with a newborn needs your attention round the clock and your hormones are not sparing you; they are going wild; that is the reason you are feeling overwhelmed.

You’re not alone in this; many parents are facing similar challenges.

How do you manage the stress of a new baby?

1. Acknowledge this Phase

Realise and accept this phase of your life. Accept that you are living in a 24/7 baby centered phase, and it is not peculiar to you alone. Yes, every parent’s experience is unique, but the common goal is to survive and come out stronger.

It is temporary and will surely pass. Try to find small moments of joy in your daily routine.

If you find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed, maybe even a bit resentful or frustrated with everything right now, please know that doesn’t make you a terrible parent. It just shows how demanding this phase is.

Society has portrayed parenthood as perfect, but that’s not true. In real life, it’s a lot messier than that. So give yourself a break.

2. Prioritize

There are four basic needs of a newborn, regular feeding, safe and secure environment, adequate sleep, warmth and attention. Providing these adequately is a lot, a lot.

The truth is that you can’t do it all perfectly. So please focus on surviving this phase and forget perfection. Concentrate on the necessary ones for both you and your newborn.

As a new parent, you are limited in what you can do, your body isn’t as it used to be. You haven’t fully recovered. Nothing is as it was before; your time is not even yours alone anymore. It’s almost impossible to keep up.

Things have changed, you have changed. So know your limits. Do the necessary ones and ask for help with others.

Asking for help is a strength, and it doesn’t mean you are weak. Seek help from family and loved ones.

If you can afford it, get a paid professional to help take care of your newborn. It will help a lot to reduce stress and tension.

You need to be alive and well to properly take care of your newborn and if asking for help is necessary, please do it.

3. The Myth of “Sleeping when the baby sleeps”

Sleeping when the baby sleeps works sometimes but not always. If you do not have help, it might be difficult as you would spend the free spare time doing household chores like cleaning the house, washing cloths, etc.

I would advise that you lower your standards for cleanliness this period to avoid wearing yourself out, as you are in survival mode. Focus on essential tasks and delegate if you can.

Newborns tend to have an irregular sleep pattern; one moment they are sleeping, the other moment later, they are awake. They tend to take short naps of 30 mins to 1 hour and wake up at intervals to feed.

Using this newborn sleeping schedule to plan your own rest might seem hard to do, and even if you do, it’s not long enough to give you a good rest.

But we will take what is available; that is the reality of the phase we are in. Take the segmented naps when possible. Find a quiet and comfortable place and rest your head.

I can never stop emphasising the importance of having help. Try to shift night duties with your spouse, loved ones or a paid help. If family members are available and willing to help, don’t hesitate to accept their offer.

Make it a teamwork so the burden doesn’t rest on you alone. It also helps promote bonding between parents, loved ones and the baby.

You can divide the nights into segments, and each person takes an assigned period of time while the other one sleeps. You can also alternate nights, one person takes tonight and the other the next day. Whatever works with you is fine as long as you get the rest your body desperately needs.

You may also need to set boundaries for extended family and friends, as everyone seems to have one form of advice to offer. This can elevate your stress level and can be overwhelming. Choose the advice you want to listen to and forget the rest.

Take note that a newborn’s needs are unpredictable, so adjust the schedule when necessary.

4. Feeding Your Baby

Within the first 3 months, one of the most important tasks a mother does is making sure her newborn is well fed and healthy. If you choose to breastfeed exclusively or use a formula to feed your newborn, it is up to you.

Yes, breastfeeding is the natural and best way to nourish your new baby. It provides everything they need to grow strong and healthy, especially in the first few months. It also contains antibodies that help protect the baby from infections. Not forgetting the fact; that it strengthens the bond between mother and child.

However, due to how frequently you may have to do it in the first three months, it requires time, patience and support if need be. There are also some situations can make it tough, like sore nipples, the baby doesn’t latch properly, or even low milk production.

There is also formula feeding, which is also safe and effective. It can as well provide the nourishment needed. However, it creates a flexible schedule which gives you some time to yourself as someone else can do the feeding while you do other tasks. It is perfect for mothers with complications after birth and need time to recover.

There is also an option of combining the both; breastfeeding and formula feeding. This provides the flexibility needed while the newborn gets the nutrients of the breast milk as well.

You may feel pressure from society and family to breastfeed exclusively. It is your life; your comfort, decision and your baby, so do what suits you best. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty of your choice.

5. Take Care of Your Mind and Feelings

Feeling anxious, sad, or being overwhelmed after having a baby, especially in those first three months, is very common.

And it’s important to know that postpartum depression is a real thing, and sometimes it gets to a point where you need to talk to a doctor or someone who can really help. So please talk to someone. It could be a friend, your partner, or a therapist.

You can join online or in person support groups. They are social media support groups for new moms. Connect with other mothers who understand what you are going through. It will help you process the emotions.

Make time for activities you enjoy, like a hobby or do something you have always wanted to do like reading, listening to music, watch movies, taking a warm bath, etc. You can also write about your experience. It also helps a lot.

There are other things you can do to ease the stress, such as:

Eating healthy including sufficient amounts of iron and protein-rich foods
Staying hydrated
Taking postnatal vitamins
Light Exercise such as walking
Practice meditation, deep breathing and Yoga.

Finally, as you are busy taking care of your newborn, don’t forget yourself. Prioritize those small moments of self-care, accept help when offered, and trust that as your baby grows, so will your confidence.